What if I told you that today, I spent the bulk of the afternoon crying in my car in a park? Like boo hoo. Snot running. Struggling to breathe bawling.
One year ago I entered the doors of education as a bright teacher with high hopes of being able to reach and teach every student that entered my classroom. Some days I’m still that educator. Other days I question whether or not I’m actually making a difference. On those days I go home, crack open of Aldi’s wine and read reflection assignments that I had my kids write about my class. I binge watch 13 Reasons Why. Lean on Me. Dangerous Minds. There are also times that I vent to my non-teacher friends and reserve the hard hitter items for my notebooks. For the first time in my life, I feel that I’m working in my purpose. I have the job that creates all the other jobs. Nurturing the future. Planting seeds of wisdom. All the cliche catch phrases associated with being a teacher. But regardless of how critical my role is, how much I pour into my kids, the moral of the story is that the education system itself is failing our kids. But you already knew that. So I’m not sure if I told you. I currently teach Principles of Business and Finance and Entrepreneurship I at the high school level. Last year I taught Essentials of College Math, Math 2 and Advanced Functions and Modeling. Do I have a degree in math? Nope. Am I good at it? Yep. They needed a teacher. I needed […]
As many of you may know (or don’t know), I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and depression in November 2015. Since then it’s been a colorful rollercoaster to reduce the number of panic attacks, suicide attempts/thoughts and breakdowns. I’m grateful to everyone who’s tagged along, supported me or literally saved my life. Moving forward Pretty Dope Right?®️ will be a blog dedicated to sharing my journey according to my anxiety and depression. How it’s defined me, allowed me to define myself and forced me to find a functioning medium. Thank you for reading -Racquell
I’ve been slacking. I’ve been challenged. Most importantly I’m making changes for the better. Slowly but surely I’ve gotten away from myself and more specifically, my writing. It bothers me more than I care to admit. Not only am I letting myself down, but I also feel like I’m letting down my fellow writers and those that depend on me […]
Dear Assata, I hope that this letter finds you in the comforts of your freedom. I won’t take too much of your time. One day (about a month or so ago), I visited my favorite herbal apothecary. I picked up a 21 day guided journal and I as gifted a bracelet with “Exist Like Assata” etched into it. I am […]
Never in a million years did I ever consider entrepreneurship and had full intentions on working for other people for the rest of my life. The first question people ask is (of course) “have you always known?” The answer is no! To be honest, everyday I question myself if I made the right decision. Am I “doing it right?” When […]
I remember being 13 and experiencing my first thoughts of suicide. I remember bouncing back and between thoughts of hanging myself or overdosing on prescription painkillers. It would be safe, clean and painless. Self-inflicted pain was never my “thing.” Museum of Thought: Poetic Perspectives in Adolescence is a poetic time capsule of my depression. My words sometimes served as […]
It only takes twenty one days to start or stop a habit. It only takes twenty one seconds to order a three wing dinner at Bojangles, a Cajun chicken tray, double onion rings and lemonade with light ice at Cookout. I, with confidence and sound mind and body, decided to say my final goodbyes to meat on July 8, 2018. […]
If you haven’t already, please go back and read my blog titled Black As I Wanna Be: Chopping it Up with Ezekiel Walker. There you’ll find a detailed recap of our first encounter. Since then, we have kept in touch, kept each other motivated creatively, shared laughs and a multitude of ideas. In this book, Ezekiel puts us in the […]
That one email that burns me to my soul While we have carefully reviewed your resume, we have decided to pursue other candidates, whose qualifications are more closely aligned with the requirements of the role But what about me How can I learn the skills if I’m never given the opportunity THEY said “go get an advanced degree So I did yet and still you constantly overlook me My hair isn’t burned to the roots or blonde and straightened to my shoulders Perhaps that’s why you don’t consider me over and over Maybe my skin isn’t light enough And no matter what car I drive, the degrees I hold, the languages I speak or how proper I talk I’ll still never be white enough Does my work ethic upset you My productivity speaks for itself Cause I work like I’ve got something to prove And everything to lose Is it my fault that my confidence makes my superiors feel inferior You see For me Since day one I’ve been taught to work twice as hard, be twice as smart, be twice as good to even try to occupy spaces for people that look like me Where there are none So when you pride yourself on “diversity” Are you even talking about me?