I remember being 13 and experiencing my first thoughts of suicide. I remember bouncing back and between thoughts of hanging myself or overdosing on prescription painkillers. It would be safe, clean and painless. Self-inflicted pain was never my “thing.” Museum of Thought: Poetic Perspectives in Adolescence is a poetic time capsule of my depression. My words sometimes served as […]
11/7/17 I fear I am afraid I fear that folks will find out that I’m not really okay when I say that I’m fine (Sometimes) I fear that laughter and lungs full of loud won’t ease the hurt anymore I fear that I wont be able to keep my fantasies at bay To prevent from turning men away I feel that you’ll feel my personality is too impulsive Because I fear that if I don’t express myself soon enough you’ll fade into a memory I fear of needing and not having again so I buy everything in bulk and sometimes the same shirt in every color Fear drives me to work every morning Logs me into my computer In my cubicle functioning like the robot that I am I fear that if I risk it all I’ll fall
If you haven’t already, please go back and read my blog titled Black As I Wanna Be: Chopping it Up with Ezekiel Walker. There you’ll find a detailed recap of our first encounter. Since then, we have kept in touch, kept each other motivated creatively, shared laughs and a multitude of ideas. In this book, Ezekiel puts us in the […]
Days ago I met the sunrise He had dreadlocks and Carolina blue eyes It was as if my imagination was running from me again His intellect matched mine His words were like music Passionate and full of soul I was ready for whatever journey we were about to begin I explained to him that I’m an orange moon An orange moon Because I reflect the light of you According to Ms. E badu But even before then It feels like the universe asked mr Hathaway to write a song for you Days ago I hesitated Before we meditated Because sometimes I can’t control my hands I danced with ideas in my head That I’d get to play with your trumpet And you’d banish the other soul ties to distant lands Days ago I kissed silk Well not real silk It was just YOUR lips The sunrise and the moon kissed Some would call that an Eclipse Days ago I slept beside a king It was everything that I’ve dreamed You worshipped my body like royalty We danced to an intimate tune Then you made my body sing Days ago two worlds collided What the universe conspired For Facebook to be inspired by an add Days ago the sunrise met the moon When this woman met this man 11/7/17
There are a million ways to communicate And yet you choose the one We go from everyday to nonverbal to every now and then, then straight to none The I’m busy Oh i forgot to send the text I’m adding them to your collection of excuses And wondering what’s next We make a conscious effort for the things that we want to make time for Perhaps you don’t wanna make the conscious effort for me anymore We used to say good morning Now we say nothing at all We used to say how is your day And now you don’t even answer my calls The message you’re sending Is that i should probably cut and run Because I’m not high enough on your priority level And we all know that’s no fun Being put on the back burner While everything else is on the forefront But as soon as your dick misses me Communication with me is priority level one Oh wait it’s not like that Don’t be like that Don’t do me like that It is what it is It’s just x it’s just y it’s just z No, i get it kid Communication requires a sender And a receiver And right now this communication Has neither We were so excited in the beginning When we exchanged numbers And now you seem to struggle to remember To even send a smoke […]
