Nappily Ever After

Finally. A movie for us. This film detailed the common struggle amongst many African-American women- our hair.

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It all began here for most of us. As I wrote this, I heard the jingle in my head and I think back to when the boxes came with the cassette tapes.

 

I can also still smell my hair being burned with hot combs and those Gold-N-Hot curling irons with NO heat protection.

 

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NOT heat protection!

 

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EXTRA CRISPY HAIR PLEASE

 

I thoroughly enjoyed the way that this movie was broken down into the stages of our hair journeys.

 

Straightened

I had quite a few questions for Violet.

 

Girl! Why didn’t you open the box first? If you were going to be nosey, why did you half ass it?

 

Since when do we get our hair straightened straightened and don’t immediately wrap it or throw on the bonnet?

 

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Especially when we know we are going to lay down…….

 

Especially when we know sex is on the menu.

 

I can even admit that when my hair is straightened, there’s a certain boost in my confidence. Hell, I sometimes take on a totally different personality. It isn’t because the straight hair is “better.” It’s because I know how misleading my afro can be with the shrinkage. Not to mention, people treat me differently when my hair is straight compared to when I rock the fro. It’s pretty unfortunate that society has conditioned us to believe that our fros ain’t poppin and that straight haired people deserve more respect. See what I did there?

 

Violet went just a little too far disrespecting Zoe about her afro. In the real world, she’d probably have a well whooped ass in the salon. But again, this is just a film.

 

Even as an adult, I still hear folks (especially older women) making comments about my afro. It’s unfortunate. Fortunately for them, I put no one on a pedestal. When addressed by older women, that whole “respect your elders” narrative goes out the window. I’m going to tell you about yourself.

 

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Weave

 

See what I mean. She hyped herself up for no reason. Clint seemed to be genuinely confused about an engagement but I fully understand his perspective. Many times we as women (and men as well) put on the best versions of ourselves in relationships. He admitted to not knowing the real her. However, both of them are responsible for that. Transparency is hard but necessary. It’s easy to watch Issa and Lawrence on Insecure but how easy is it for us to admit to ourselves that we are just as fucked up as they are?

 

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Blonde

 

Chile. Violet was doing the absolute MOST. Falling in the club. Pouring ALL of that honey on that man. Showing up at the hospital. What in the whole hell?

 

Umm. Clint also made a very valid point. She asked him to leave. He did. Ladies, can we start meaning what we say and saying what we mean? Mmk.

 

The scene that I loved the most was when she shaved her hair off. I actually cried the second time watching it. I’ve been there, but sober.

 

Bald

 

I can honestly say that I never knew liberation until I shaved all of my hair off.  Both times.

 

Left: 2011

Right: 2013

My confidence was on a whole nother level.

 

I learned to be a queen without the “crown of glory”

– me

 

Ya know, people say the darndest things when you’re bald. Yes a ton of people said that I was a lesbian (because all lesbians are bald right?). I got all of the Amber Rose references. All the bald headed scallywag jokes. Who cares? I was happy. I was healthy. I did something that others wouldn’t dare even if their lives depended on it.

 

Violet’s mom Pauletta was irritating. But then again, every character that Lynn Whittfield plays is. A Thin Line Between Love and Hate. Greenleaf. She pissed me ALL the way off in Madea’s Family Reunion. The woman is a phenomenal actress!

 

I was happy about the bond that Violet and Zoe formed during the movie. In my opinion, Zoe was actually the catalyst that helped Violet accept herself. I saw the relationship between Violet and Will building from a mile away. She wasn’t ready for a guy like Will. I was annoyed that she took Clint back so willy nilly. Clint made all that fuss about Violet being a perfectionist and then had the audacity to ask for the perfection back.

 

That’s that bullshit.

 

Y’all know how I felt about Violet quitting her job. I was screaming at the TV. Yassssssss sis! Quit that job!

 

In the end, Violet finally found freedom and happiness within herself and she lived nappily ever after.

 

The end.

See What Had Happened Was….

So this is a story all about how

I once had locs and took em right out

And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there

To tell you how I made the transition

Back to big hair

Bars.

Ok maybe not.

I gave the starter locs my best y’all. I did. I was so relieved to not have to manipulate my hair daily. But at the end of the day I missed my afro more and I have no regrets about combing them out.

It took approximately 1.5 hours to pick them out using the tail end of my rat tail comb. Once I got them badboys out though…….

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(It definitely could have taken longer. There’s a girl on YouTube that combed hers out after seven years! My little two months was nothing!)

I was too burnt out to wash and detangle it so I pulled it into a poof and headed out for the night.

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The growth was incredible!

When I finally washed it (next day geez!), I decided to wash it in halves which helped getting all the knots out. The only tool that I used to detangle was my old faithful and sturdy wide tooth comb. This is THEE ONLY comb that I haven’t broken in years unfortunately.

Same process from the locs, pre-poo, shampoo, condition and twist.

These were the juiciest two strand twists that I’ve had in a long time.

So here’s what I learned from my short time with locs.

  1. Your starter method matters more than you think. I think that I would have been happier if I had of started with the coil method instead of the two strand twist method. I’m pretty sure that length when you begin the process matters as well. I think that if I started with shorter hair, I wouldn’t have had sooooo much unraveling.
  2. All products are not created equal. A lot of them “designed for locs” aren’t good for them. But that goes for any product. I’m allergic to coconut which has always worked against my natural hair journey and a majority of the natural hair products are loaded with it. It’s not easy or cheap to be selective. I also found out the hard way that “cocamidopropyl betaine” is also a derivative of coconut oil.img_1126
  3. Buildup is NOT cool. I think I overwashed my locs for that exact reason. I’m definitely used to washing once a week which is a real no go. Patience is key and I thought I had it. I don’t. my hair simply wasn’t feeling it. So I listened to it. The fro is back!

Nappy Roots: 2 Month Loc Update

Le struggle from month one to month two has been real. I’ve had to re-twist my locs three times already. Allow me to explain. Y’all know I’m the ultimate DIY person when it comes to my own hair. I decided to do the re-twist on my own.

1st Re-twist Fail

Words for the wise, YouTube can be deceiving. I wanted to transition away from using a ton of products on my locs so I sought out a more natural route. Aloe vera gel.

Seven Minerals Aloe Vera Gel came highly recommended on YouTube. I began my routine as usual with the Camille Rose Ginger Cleansing shampoo followed by the re-twisting process. The Seven Minerals Gel was super moisturizing and I was giddy to be using an all-natural hair product. I turned my bonnet dryer on and waited for my hair to dry. There was a day party to be attended and I needed my hair to be on POINT! YALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. That mess flaked up so damn bad! I was LIVID! But I didn’t have time to wash it out so I pinned it as best I could to hide the damn flaking!

Between leaving the day party and coming home, my friends and I visited the hair store and I decided to just give the Talia Waajid Lock It Up Gel to do my re-twist.

Perfect……….until it started unraveling like hell. So instead of washing and re-twisting again, I just rocked it. I was half way between looking like the process was coming together and folks giving me the “I don’t know what’s going on but I know you’ll figure it out” look. Nonetheless I was anxious for the two weeks to go by so that I could wash it again.

Wash day was routine with the TW pre-shampoo and shampoo. This time for my re-twist I chose to do so using oil only.

Viola! Perfect re-twist! Little to no unravelling! I’m proud to say that I’m on week 3. I’m going to listen to my hair and continue my re-twists the same way!

Major milestone reached!