And Don’t Forget!

We’ve finally reached the most controversial holiday season of the year. Tis the season of cheer, fellowship, joy, love and traditions. Tis also the season of ungratefulness, greed, loneliness and feelings of inadequacy. Now I’m not saying that it isn’t okay to be joyous. I’m simply asking you to be mindful.

Here are a few reasons why.

Working in retail during the holidays turned me off from Christmas a long time ago. I’ve never been a materialistic person and retail simply reassured me of how unnecessary it is to “buy gifts.” This glorious year reminded me that “going against the norm” is completely okay. Nothing happens if you don’t buy anything. Most people only buy gifts because people make them feel bad if they don’t. Priorities get all fucked up for Christmas. I personally know people that forgo rent payments and car notes for the sake of buying gifts. RENT!!!!!!!!!!!! There are also people pulling 80 hour work weeks for “Christmas money.”

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That’s when it takes the unhealthy turn. So with that being said, check on your friends that are acting frantic and physically draining themselves during this holiday season.

I have students that will be experiencing their first Christmas without a parent. Other students being forced to decide which parent that they are spending Christmas with.

There is someone that will wake up to nothing and alone on Christmas Day.

There is someone that YOU know that is forbidden to celebrate with their families because they came out of the closet earlier this year.

The scenarios are endless.

Check on your friends that have to be strong during this holiday season.

It can also be stressful for us twenty somethings that are going against other societal norms – the single passion-driven kidless kind.

Those that actually choose (because you’re grown now and you do have a choice) to spend time with family during the holidays. Shoutout out to those with healthy family dynamics but this for the folks being summoned by their dysfunctional and/or toxic family members.

It happens every year. You actually look forward to going home to spend time (this time). You’ve mentally prepared. You prepared a dish. Arrived on time. Greeted everyone. Plates have been prepared. As folks are finishing up, folks are starting to chatter and somehow the focus of the conversation has shifted to you.

So what do you do now?

I had a friend that did that, and they didn’t make any money.

Passions don’t pay the bills.

So where’s your man at?

You’re still not thinking about kids? You’re almost 30.

So whats’s the five year plan?

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Check on your folks that are actually spending time with their families (*especially folks down South that have been brainwashed into believing that respect is only reserved for the elderly by way of “minding your manners and respecting or not sassing your elders” even when they’re wrong).

How about everybody check on everybody?

Who Brought the Potato Salad?

This blog has two parts.

Part 1: Avoid looking stupid in front of family and friends

Part 2: Avoid getting fired at the office potluck

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Everyone is eager to showcase their cooking talents right? So you’ve found your way to the sign up sheet for the work potluck. Or you’ve agreed to bring something to the family gathering. This is the ultimate opportunity to prove yourself. Do you stick to what you know (and bring cutlery or drinks) or do you use this time to try a new recipe? Or this year you may be bold enough to go completely left field by trying your hand at one of grandmas recipes. What better recipe to risk it all for than the potato salad….

which brings me to part 1: avoid looking stupid in front of family and friends.

Here in the south, there are a few things that are off limits. Young folks ain’t old enough to make it. Old folks don’t measure a damn thing kinda dishes.

They are:

Macaroni and cheese

Potato Salad

Corn puddin

Banana puddin

Sweet potato pie

Chittlins

Anything cooked with a slice of bacon or ham in it

Anything traditionally cooked in a cast iron skillet

Don’t show up with boxed mac and cheese.

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Or Walmart potato salad. Or canned Glory greens. Oh and just don’t come if you’re bringing a Patty pie (although I think they are good).

Family time also ain’t the time for Pinterest recipes. Stick to what you know.

On the other hand, Pinterest recipes are appropriate for potlucks at work. It never fails. You botched the recipe but bring it anyway. Some coworker lovessssssss it and can’t stop talking about it and encouraging everyone to try it. Meanwhile what they bought is in the break room trash….all season-less and undercooked.

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How to Avoid getting fired at the office potluck

Get taste portions of everything. Better safe than sorry

Spit out the food into a napkin when need be

Don’t comment on the pecans and raisons on the potato salad……..we know they don’t go on there

Eat at your own risk……folks don’t wash their hands

Eat at your own risk……folks cook in dirty kitches

Eat at your own risk……folks allow their animals on the counters

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Sorry to remind you of what you already knew.