Broken Instrument: Album Review

This album is the happiest thing that I’ve heard all week. All the petty guns were drawn out and pointed in my direction. I had a complete meltdown and had to pull all of my shit together and quickly. Music has and forever will be my go to.

So I go to iTunes on Friday hunting for new artists just to, perhaps discover new music that hasn’t hit the mainstream crowd yet. And that’s how I discovered the artist Victory.

Let’s start with the album art! I was sold!

But when I actually downloaded that album!!!!!!!!!

You know I had to give my two cents on some of my favs.

Against the Wind

This song made me want to get up from my desk, walk to my car, roll all the windows down and just drive…….without stopping……to the beach. I literally visualized it!

Everyday I’m moving on upwards

But there’s still so much ground I’ve not covered

I can’t see the top from here

But I know that I can’t stop before I make it there

This verse served as a reminder that throughout my current frustrations, I’ve got to keep on going. Experiencing your journey and trusting your process is so difficult but necessary. And that’s even with words of encouragement.

Weatherman

I have no idea why my cry baby ass listened to this song at my desk first. I lost it. Right there at the desk. The song was so positive man.

The first chorus goes

You’ve gotta learn how to shine

Cause the days get cold and dark sometimes

And you’re gonna need the sun to survive

And if that didn’t hit home, another verse did.

I wear a smile that’s fake cause I’m too proud to cry

Pretend the weather’s great cause it’s easier to lie

I felt that on a spiritual level!

And if it couldn’t get any better, she took it to yet another level with

I’ve gotta learn how to shine

Cause I don’t know when the storm will pass by

Or by then if I’ll even have a sound mind

This just gave me further confirmation that one of my affirmations is properly aligned with what my spirit needs. That affirmation is: I am my own light in dark spaces.

Broken Instrument

Initially I wondered why Broken Instrument is featured three times on the album but I fully understand why.

Part one begins the story of a used and broken instrument that finds itself in the landfill. It reflects on its life of performance prior to being broken and discarded. The instrument has high hopes of getting back to an instrument maker to be repaired.

If miracles are real

I’d like a way out of this landfill

But there’s no hope that I can see

There’s no answer to the plate that I repeat

Part two is a conversation that the instrument has with itself about the depression, despair and hopelessness that it feels.

In part three, the instrument is found by what it thinks is a “bum” but it turns out to be an instrument maker that it’s longed for. The maker sees the value and beauty still left within the instrument and takes it from the landfill and fixes it up.

So let my sound forever be a testament

Of how the maker can restore value to the life of a broken instrument

That by far was one of the most impactful lyrics that I’ve ever heard. No bullshit. It’s likely because I connected to it way more than I probably should have. At times I’ve felt like that very instrument. The moral that I got from the story was that the condition of the instrument never changes it’s purpose.

Finally in Ctrl- My Two Cents

Ok ok ok. I know I’m late AF in giving my take on this album. But it’s still technically 2017, so let me be great and drop it at least before 2018. Geez.

Now.

If I had one word for how this album made me feel, the word would be RELATABLE. This album was made for women like us. That are honest with themselves. That could care less about judgement from outsiders. That willingly deal with trash guys and sometimes lose ourselves in them. That know better but consciously don’t do better because it simply feels good. The ones that know all about the herbs that come from the earth. All about long nights of chill vibes and roaches. The ones without legs that is.

But.

I know most people that are familiar with SZA as an artist are only familiar with her mainstream radio music. Most people don’t download and listen to albums. I do. Artists drop all kinds of gems that never make it to the radio. But you’d only know that if you had the album. Hell, y’all won’t even go watch her Breakfast Club interview. But that’s neither here nor there at this point.

So.

I love listening to this album when I’m getting ready to step out, taking road trips or driving across town on a late night creep. It’s in the ranks alongside A Seat at the Table for me. These two albums together provide me balance.

Anywhoo, I’m super grateful for Apple music providing the lyrics to help me illustrate my points.

Racquell, get to the damn point.

Ok.

Supermodel.

My absolute favorite song on the album. The intro is my favorite part. If you suffer from anxiety, you get it.

That is my greatest fear

That if, if I lost control

Or did not have control

Things would just, you know

I, it would be fatal

The rest of the song reminded me of all the times when I simply didn’t feel “good enough” for people. “I could be your supermodel if you believe, if you see it in me”. That shit is deep. Let’s not get it twisted. This isn’t about me not having guys interested in me. This is about me being interested in the ones that are on bullshit. Ninety percent of the time I’m trying to figure out what they don’t see. Why they don’t get it. What they are waiting for. As in sir, you have no idea how many people are dying to get any real attention from me, meanwhile I’m in your dusty face. You know you wrong for shit like that. I gave up on trying to figure y’all out. But I refuse to settle for anything less than mutual energy. I’ll wait.

Doves in the Wind

Kendrick Lamar’s entire verse on this song! *sips tea.

Niggas’ll lose they mind for it
Wine for it, dine for it (pussy)
Spend time for it, see no colored line for it (pussy)
Double back handicap and go blind for it (pussy)
Pussy got endless prisoners
Pussy always revengin’ her
Pussy is calculating
And good pussy is rather dangerous
Pussy can be so facetious, the heavyweight champ
Pussy is so undefeated, let’s amen to that
I mean, the pump fakes on the Facebooks
And the screw face when the bae look
Won’t get you no pussy
I mean, the fake chains and the gold names
For insecure, gon’ reassure you not to get pussy
You overcompensate too much for the pussy
You like to throw all kinda shade for the pussy
See, that’s what pussy niggas do
I know the ways of a pussy, I see pussy lookin’ at you
How many niggas get mistaken for clitoris in a day?
How many sentiments you make before runnin’ pussy away?
How many times she gotta tell you that dick is disposable?
But if she fuck a young nigga like me, it’s over for you
Solána, middle fingers up, speak your truth

My favorite line is “how many times she gotta tell you dick is disposable”? No. But seriously. How many times? The dick has just as little power as the pussy does these days. They come a dime a dozen. It’s not enough to keep anyone around. Guys. Gals. Nobody. Yet and still it’s put up on a pedestal. Pussy’s like doves in the wind.

The Weekend.

I love this damn song. Judge all you want. Been there. Done that. And I’m not ashamed to say I enjoyed every minute of it. Y’all have successfully beat a dead horse. One day you will look up and realize that you are mad at all the wrong people. Quit blaming and shaming the “SZAs”. Is your man really your man? At the end of the day he’s a cheater. There wasn’t/isn’t anything that you nor I could do to stop him from being one. You’re not going to leave him regardless. He’s only going to be faithful when I’M done with him. Moving right along.

Garden (Say it like Dat).

Hope you never find out who I really am
‘Cause you’ll never love me
You’ll never love me, you’ll never love me
But I believe you when you say it like that
Only you need me when you say it like that
Oh I believe you when you say it like that
You must really love me

My grandma told me that it’s cool to be pretty but you need to have something in your head. A pretty face with nothing but skittles and glitter in your head is well…..you know…..sad. And this my friends, is why I have such a hard time dating. I have no idea what’s up with some guys and their desires to have women as trophies. Can I be “bad” and still have an opinion? No? Ok. Blocked. I hate it. I really do. You sticking around through panic attacks? No? Ok bye. You down with waking up to my hair being matted under this bonnet? No? Alright I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Folks that have gotten to know the real me will assure you that if you aren’t ready to take me serious, get the hell on.

Wavy (Interlude) [feat. James Fountleroy].

Just give as much as you take. Forgive as much as you hate or get the fuck out. Pretty self explanatory.

20 Something.

The whole damn song. These 20 something’s are building blocks, but for me these past 2 years have been THEE most interesting ones. I’ve made a few major moves. Praying the 20 somethings don’t kill me. They have been close.

What were your thoughts about the album?