Pretty Dope Write

Deep In The Heart of Texas

February 18th, 2021

*clears throat

I was born and raised in Townsville, NC.

At one point I thought I’d die there, but that’s another blog.

I have survived 17 long and excruciating winters on occasion.

I have some beautiful memories of hs having no power, no water for days at a time,

But still being able to beat thanks to the wood stove

Or filling a bathtub with water

Pipes bursting

Well water frozen solid

Silence and only the sound of Mother Nature

Swarovski diamonded snow with the reflection of the sun

Made snow families with my own family

Frigid times for sure.

BUT I AIN’T NEVER SEEN NO SHIT LIKE THIS!
Podcast. Take Two.

February 13th, 2021

So……I started another podcast. The last one I started Not Sufficient for Work was very short lived. And when I say short lived, I mean one episode. A week after I started the podcast, I started teaching at a high school and I definitely couldn’t afford for my employer or my students to get a hold of it.

The current podcast Corporate America: I’ve Had Enough of You is based on my second book of the same title. Just like the last time, I began with very little experience creating a podcast. Lately I’ve been on a podcast binge and kept hearing the same messages about the Anchor app which was user friendly for a person like me to use with little to no equipment. Writing books and blogs was much easier but I saw this as a new opportunity to challenge myself creatively.

It’s been three years since the book was published. My story resonated with and inspired so many people to prioritize their mental health, which for some, meant quitting their jobs.

Now here I am three years later with those same “fuck this job” feelings about my current job. It seems to be a recurring theme in my work life which is slowly but surely leading me to believe that the reason I’ll continue to have these issues in the workplace isn’t because people really suck at leadership. It’s not because communication from the top down is ass. It damn sure isn’t because diversity initiatives are including more black faces in their company photos but not actually in leadership roles (because we know that that will never change.)

Deep down I know that I’m supposed to be working for myself. Doing what exactly? I still haven’t narrowed it down. Whatever it is, I’m sure it is a combination of writing, education and mental health. But until then, I’ve been focusing on getting the bills paid the old school way.

I don’t know if it’s because of the pandemic or divine timing but lately I’ve been feeling like my book was ahead of its time and that the time is NOW to revamp my efforts in its promotion.

For the first time in my life (after recording the first episode) I actually loved my recorded voice. I also couldn’t use my favorite excuse that I wasn’t tech savvy. I recorded the episode from a voice memo in my bathroom. I cut out all the bullshit excuses and did that shit.

The Corporate America: I’ve Had Enough of You podcast is a space for me to share the experiences that shaped my book, my current work life and a safe place for other black women to share their similar experiences.

Check out both episodes here. Review, rate and share. Thanks!

Corporate America: I’ve Had Enough of You Podcast
Mindfulness

January 13th, 2021

I bought an orange today

Not just any orange

But a Cara Cara orange

Did you know that it’s a cross between a Washington Navel orange and a Brazilian Bahia orange?

Me either.

I peeled that orange today.

Not just any orange.

But a Cara Cara orange.

I peeled it like us professional orange peelers do.

Using my right thumb as the first point of contact

I think I went a little too deep because the juices started to seep

I didn’t mean to do that

I stared at that orange today.

Not just any orange.

But a Cara Cara orange.

I learned that the white stuff that protects the inside

Is actually called the “pith”.

I didn’t eat it per usual

I split the orange down the center and guess what?

It looked like a grapefruit!

I ate my orange today.

It was sweeter than any orange I’d ever eaten.

It smelled as sweet as it tasted.

How can I ever go back to plain navel oranges after this?

I had to spread the good news.

Today.

If only but for a moment, I was fully immersed in the present, enjoying my Cara Cara orange.
01012021

January 1st, 2021
Selfirmations All 2021

January 1st, 2021

I love pictures.

Always have.

Always will.

My great grandparents house was full of pictures.

I guess I didn’t realize until now how it it’s actually their imprint on my life.

I enjoy being in front of the lense but enjoy being behind the camera even more.

I’m the person you want me to use your phone to get a pic of you and I’ll give you a lyrically inspired lyric to go with it.

So it makes sense that here I am thinking of doing selfies containing some of the notes that I write to myself. I’ll call them “selfirmations” for now.

Somewhere, someone needs them.

Try it.
And the award goes to…..

December 30th, 2020

In spirit of one of the podcasts that’s kept me afloat this year, The Brilliant Idiots, I think that this quote is reasonable.

If you think 2020 was your best year ever, you’re absolutely right. If you think 2020 was your worst year ever, you’re right too.

Many of us don’t even have the words for what 2020 was.

Nothing I did was on my vision board.

My planner looked like a kindergartener had scribbled through it.

I started a new job as a middle school teacher.

I quit that new job and moved to Texas.

We got hit with the pandemic quarantine.

I made $1000 Instacarting one week.

I got fired from Instacart.

I had to ask my friends to help me pay my bills.

I finally have a bed after sleeping on a blowup mattress for months.

I worked at the IRS for 2 days and quit.

I worked at a hospital for a month.

I fell in love again.

If that isn’t Oscar worthy, I don’t know what is.

2020 showed its ass.

I’m actually eager to see what 2021 has in store. I’m rather used to this Jordan Peele production we’ve been in for 90% of 2020.

I’m looking forward to all of the creative ideas being birthed from this pandemic. All of the healthy conversations that are taking place. People are reading again. People are writing again. Strangers are networking. Folks are finally pursuing their passions.

I love to see it.

Please do set intentions.

Please do the shadow work.

Manifest that shit!

2020. Deuces!
Escaping Survival Mode

December 24th, 2020
According to Psychology Today, “survival mode” is an adaptive response of the human body to help us survive danger and stress.

From the outside looking in, many people would assume that I had an overall healthy childhood and adolescence. I was raised by my grandparents in the country. I got good grades. I never came off as disobedient. My yes mams and no sirs were always polished. Despite being a “good kid” raised in a super religious household, my life has never been exempt from trauma and dysfunction. I am almost certain that I’ve suffered from depression for years undiagnosed.

I recently read and shared an article that discussed the immobilizing effects of depression. I recognized myself immediately. I wasn’t in a position to get out of the environment that I was in so I mentally became immobile. I don’t remember how I learned to control my rage. How to play along. How to seemingly “fit” into that world until I could get out of it.

Fast forward to now.

At 30. Far removed from the people, places and things that brought the trauma and dysfunction into my life, I still catch myself functioning in survival mode.

It is very difficult to escape this mindset.

I’m constantly reminding myself. I question my decisions alot. Why am I doing this? When it’s time for me to make important decisions I ask myself if I’m doing what I want to do or what needs to be done? Anything involving money and I’m asking if I’m buying an item from a headspace of lack.

Whatever helps right?

To the person that resonates with this blog:
1. How are you or have you been working on escaping a mindself of survival mode?
2. What has been your biggest challenge?
Affirmations Lived By 2020

December 18th, 2020
12142020

December 14th, 2020
12082020

December 8th, 2020

They threw dirt on me.
Never realizing that I was a seed.
Watered myself with my tears.
And sprouted out of the ground.

Faithful over a few things.
Ruler of everything.
-me