Nappily Ever After
Finally. A movie for us. This film detailed the common struggle amongst many African-American women- our hair.
It all began here for most of us. As I wrote this, I heard the jingle in my head and I think back to when the boxes came with the cassette tapes.
I can also still smell my hair being burned with hot combs and those Gold-N-Hot curling irons with NO heat protection.
NOT heat protection!
EXTRA CRISPY HAIR PLEASE
I thoroughly enjoyed the way that this movie was broken down into the stages of our hair journeys.
I had quite a few questions for Violet.
Girl! Why didn’t you open the box first? If you were going to be nosey, why did you half ass it?
Since when do we get our hair straightened straightened and don’t immediately wrap it or throw on the bonnet?
Especially when we know we are going to lay down…….
Especially when we know sex is on the menu.
I can even admit that when my hair is straightened, there’s a certain boost in my confidence. Hell, I sometimes take on a totally different personality. It isn’t because the straight hair is “better.” It’s because I know how misleading my afro can be with the shrinkage. Not to mention, people treat me differently when my hair is straight compared to when I rock the fro. It’s pretty unfortunate that society has conditioned us to believe that our fros ain’t poppin and that straight haired people deserve more respect. See what I did there?
Violet went just a little too far disrespecting Zoe about her afro. In the real world, she’d probably have a well whooped ass in the salon. But again, this is just a film.
Even as an adult, I still hear folks (especially older women) making comments about my afro. It’s unfortunate. Fortunately for them, I put no one on a pedestal. When addressed by older women, that whole “respect your elders” narrative goes out the window. I’m going to tell you about yourself.
See what I mean. She hyped herself up for no reason. Clint seemed to be genuinely confused about an engagement but I fully understand his perspective. Many times we as women (and men as well) put on the best versions of ourselves in relationships. He admitted to not knowing the real her. However, both of them are responsible for that. Transparency is hard but necessary. It’s easy to watch Issa and Lawrence on Insecure but how easy is it for us to admit to ourselves that we are just as fucked up as they are?
Chile. Violet was doing the absolute MOST. Falling in the club. Pouring ALL of that honey on that man. Showing up at the hospital. What in the whole hell?
Umm. Clint also made a very valid point. She asked him to leave. He did. Ladies, can we start meaning what we say and saying what we mean? Mmk.
The scene that I loved the most was when she shaved her hair off. I actually cried the second time watching it. I’ve been there, but sober.
I can honestly say that I never knew liberation until I shaved all of my hair off. Both times.
My confidence was on a whole nother level.
I learned to be a queen without the “crown of glory”
Ya know, people say the darndest things when you’re bald. Yes a ton of people said that I was a lesbian (because all lesbians are bald right?). I got all of the Amber Rose references. All the bald headed scallywag jokes. Who cares? I was happy. I was healthy. I did something that others wouldn’t dare even if their lives depended on it.
Violet’s mom Pauletta was irritating. But then again, every character that Lynn Whittfield plays is. A Thin Line Between Love and Hate. Greenleaf. She pissed me ALL the way off in Madea’s Family Reunion. The woman is a phenomenal actress!
I was happy about the bond that Violet and Zoe formed during the movie. In my opinion, Zoe was actually the catalyst that helped Violet accept herself. I saw the relationship between Violet and Will building from a mile away. She wasn’t ready for a guy like Will. I was annoyed that she took Clint back so willy nilly. Clint made all that fuss about Violet being a perfectionist and then had the audacity to ask for the perfection back.
That’s that bullshit.
Y’all know how I felt about Violet quitting her job. I was screaming at the TV. Yassssssss sis! Quit that job!
In the end, Violet finally found freedom and happiness within herself and she lived nappily ever after.