Fear

11/7/17

I fear

I am afraid

I fear that folks will find out that I’m not really okay when I say that

I’m fine

(Sometimes)

I fear that laughter and lungs full of loud won’t ease the hurt anymore

I fear that I wont be able to keep my fantasies at bay

To prevent from turning men away

I feel that you’ll feel my personality is too impulsive

Because I fear that if I don’t express myself soon enough you’ll fade into a memory

I fear of needing and not having again so I buy everything in bulk and sometimes the same shirt in every color

Fear drives me to work every morning

Logs me into my computer

In my cubicle functioning like the robot that I am

I fear that if I risk it all

I’ll fall

 

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Trav says:

    You wrote this less than a year ago. Elements in your life has changed. How relevant is this now? This feeling remain? Or different feeling of the same?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve overcome a ton of this fears just this year. I can confidently say that I’m actually fine when I say I’m fine now rather than pretending.

      Like

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