I’ve always been a person that goes the extra mile for other people. Whether its just being a good ear to vent to, shoulder to cry on, ride to work, provider of book suggestions, you name it, I’m there. I’m typically the #1 fan and supporter of anything that my close (and sometimes Facebook) friends pursue.
I’m also a sucker for a good convo especially with strangers. After a few minutes of conversation, it usually results in me offering some kind of solution to a problem that they may be having. Oh it doesn’t stop there. I’m also exchanging contact info and following up shortly thereafter. Networking is by far my most valuable strength. Well, what I’ve been doing has a name. It’s called life coaching. I know right. Who am I to be trying to coach someone else’s life when me nor Iyanla can fix mine? That’s beside the point.
In August I decided to attend a life coaching session called Renew and Recharge: Redesign a Life You’ll Love with Bill Johnson and Megan Delph at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Two words. Life changing. If you’re afforded the opportunity to attend this workshop, take it!
One activity that stood out the most was the values assessment. Our values are what’s important to us in the NOW. You may have also heard them called principles, morals and standards. Yeah, values.
We were given 36 “value” tags that ranged from loyalty to wealth. We were then asked to make two piles of those important right now and those that aren’t. Cool. No problem. THEN we were asked to narrow that pile down to just ten. THEN we were asked to narrow them down to the top five that we can’t live without in order of their importance. THEN we were asked to write a sentence or tow on how they guided us in our everyday decisions and actions. Y’ll know I’m wordy. As hell. I overdid it.
2017 Top Five
- Safety/Security: This one has and will likely continue to be a high priority. Let me break it all the way down. See, the way my anxiety is set up. I need to know where my coins are coming from on the regular, that they are consistent and that the bills are paid early if not on time. I need for the whole bottom row to be secured here.
- Harmony: Once safety and security are satisfied, harmony is possible for me. But only after number one is taken care of. When I’m at peace, it shows. When I’m happy, it shows. When I’m angry, it still looks like I’m harmonious. I’ll be the first to admit that 2017 taught me that harmony is important if I wanted to continue living in my purpose……which leads to number three.
- Wisdom: After realizing my “why am I here” aka purpose in 2015, I sought out more ways to live in it. And just in case you aren’t aware, my purpose to simply be a light in dark spaces. Sorry fam, being an astronaut is for someone else. The workshop also helped me realize that I actually had values that guided all if not most of my decisions. And to think, I was under the impression that I was out here living reckless. I am constantly seeking understanding of myself and the world around me. No wonder why I read so many self-help books.
- Enjoyment/Happiness: There’s happiness outside. Fellowshipping with friends. Karaoke. Networking with strangers. I LIVE FOR IT. Again, I never understood why those things were so important to me until then. And then there’s happiness at home.
- Friendship: I love my family. I do. But I am not a family oriented person. Family often does bullshit and expects to “get a pass” because we are “kin.”
Not over here beloved.I’m sure that made most people cringe a little. But listen. I don’t give ANYONE a pass these days. I don’t care what the relationship is. Check out All About Love by Bell Hooks and we’ll talk about how family can be just as toxic as strangers. Blood is definitely thicker than water. But all blood ain’t good blood. My friends are my biggest support system (for the most part). I’ll tell anybody that it’s important to have diverse groups of friends. Learn from them. Grow with them. Most importantly, be as supportive as possible. Be so connected that you feel in it your own body when something is wrong. Continue to create and foster healthy and positive friendships.
2018 Top Five
- Spirituality is super big for me now. Vibes don’t lie and I’m constantly aware of the energy I put out and that I’m surrounding myself with. I’m burning Palo Santo. Got Himalayan Pink Salt lamps throughout my apartment. I finally admitted to myself that I’m not in control of the things I once thought I had full control over. This spiritually inclined life has even aided in reducing my anxiety.
- Safety/Security: see above
- Wisdom: see above
- Creativity/Self-Expression……keep reading. This blog is it.
- Fitness/Health: Yep. That’s me just squatting 205.