Pretty Dope Right?

Read my blog.Drink water.Mind your business

 

Brothers and sisters I come to you briefly today. I’ll just provide a few words of encouragement and discouragement.

I recently came across a somewhat general schedule for “cuffin season.” Ah, some of you have no idea what I’m talking about huh? Well. Every year around this time, hundreds and thousands of us “twenty somethings” are competing against another twenty somethings for the heart (I think) of one lucky person. This season starts late summer and continues through the winter months when having someone warm beside you matters. Some of us have no real desire to be included in the foolish and some do. It typically starts down in the DMs (direct messages) and escalates from there. This is the time of the year where the “hey big head” texts start rolling through. But if you’re like me, you know the way to shut it down is to simply reply “who dis?” Works like a charm.

Here’s the “general” schedule below

 

Photo Cred: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cxb-hq6UQAA1btW.jpg

Now that the schedule is out of the way, I’ve come up with a few pointers to help you navigate the odds of this joyous season.

First, don’t assume. One of the first questions that you should be asking before continuing your recruitment speech should be if this person is seeing someone. The worst thing you can do is engage with a person that is already in a relationship or in someone else’s starting lineup for cuffing season. Be respectful and do not be deceived. Just because he or she doesn’t post any pictures, doesn’t mean that they aren’t entertaining one or several other people. Think about it. Ask just to cover your own ass and have a paper trail. Screenshots NEVER lie. If YOU are in a relationship, situationship or simply on the rebound, this season is NOT for you. Get the hell on.

Second, respect the office hours. My office hours are from…….9 to 5. Big Red made it nice and clear in The Five Heartbeats. Did he not? I need the distraction to be while I’m at work. Not during my personal time. When folks get off, they simply want to wine down. At least I know I do. Most days I come home and don’t even turn on the TV. This is actually a prime time for conversation for some.  Not only does the office hour rule pertain to the folks with a corporate work schedule but it also pertains to sleep time. There is no need for notifications at midnight sir or mam.

Lastly, be creative. You ain’t the only one trying to be the only one hun. I recently came across this tweet

This guy DM’d my friend a picture of a couch, and then a rug, and then pots and pans, and then a whole bunch of furniture. My friend sent him a “?” and the dude was like “oh, don’t mind me…I’m just moving into your DMs” @LupusFiasco

Now if that isn’t creative, I don’t know what is. Be creative, but don’t be corny. If you ask about my day one mo gin, I’m going to scream. If you tell me the picture I just posted is beautiful, I’m going to scream. If you poke me on Facebook, I am going to block you. I can’t make this up folks. I talk to a ton of folks on the regular and almost everyone has the same DM  stories. Guys and gals alike. Seriously. If you’re interested, pay attention to their interests. I mean, that always works in the movies right? I am notorious for sliding in DMs not to be a creep but because I pay attention to details. You’d be surprised at how natural the conversations can start……before they go downhill.

Again, this is just my two cents but hey who am I? May the odds be ever in your favor.

3 thoughts on “Cuffin Season

  1. Aesthetically April says:

    I love it!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading mam!

      Like

  2. artbyzulu says:

    Another great column!!

    Liked by 1 person

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