Confession. I’m a PGK. Not quite as bad as a PK but close enough. For those of you that aren’t aware, a PGK is a preachers grand kid. A PK is a preachers kid. There are so many stereotypes that come along with being raised in the “spirit filled” household. It will turn you into one of three types of people- a saint, an ain’t or an in-betweener. Now us in-betweeners have our moments from time to time. Sure I can quote scripture. But I can also rap the lyrics to Look Back At It by Trina. Don’t be fooled.
A couple of years ago (2011 maybe) I had a spiritual moment. Well, more so a conversation with myself about faith. Yes. Faith the size of a mustard seed for my fellow Sunday school scholars. Rereading it for the sake of this blog, I’m a little confused. Not only was I all over the place but I’m sure that not even I believed what I wrote. Lol. I’ve spent the past few years trying to detox a majority of the foolishness I was taught especially the stuff that isn’t really in the Bible but has been passed down as if it was in Genesis. Back then I was pretty ignorant and judgemental. But “they” say when you know better, you do better right?
Lord Where Am I Going: Why Can’t I Walk by Faith?
There are roughly five reasons:
1. Everyone but God is in your ear
Not everyone in our inner circle needs to know what we are going to God about. We must understand that God is God alone and he doesn’t need a mediator. People will tell you things like “you aren’t gonna make it” or “it didn’t work out for me.” Then here you go giving in to the doubt. If you had of kept ya mouth shut and left it with Him, not your bestie auntie home girl, then the mustard seed of doubt would have never crept in. Be aware of the things you are praying for. Don’t pray for what others have then get it only to find out you were unprepared or it wasn’t for you. Duh! All hell is guaranteed to break loose (Hebrews 11:29). Of course if God has a vision for you, you’re the only person that needs to see it. Sometimes it’s best to share your testimony AFTER you’re blessed.
2. Natural emotions- doubt, fear, hopelessness, sadness, loneliness
Who doesn’t feel these things? Sometimes the fear of the unknown gets the best of us. But the Bible says “if God is for me, who can be against me?” Does it not? We have to learn how to actually believe what we believe. When and where did we learn hopelessness? We need to unlearn it. I’ve learned that we dont always wanna shake it off either. Sometimes it becomes a blanket of comfort. I seldom find myself allowing the enemy to beat the hell out of me before I say enough is enough. At that point, these lowest points in your life is when you must lift up your eyes to the hills from which cometh your help. Loneliness will have you locked up in your house not wanting to be around anyone. Don’t want nobody to call you, text ya, come see you or nothin! The best example that I run into is with relationships. You’ve been with this one person for x amount of months or years, then boom there’s the breakup. Now you’re vowing (and usually lying) to yourself that you’ll never fall in love again. Just completely isolating yourself and hardening your heart instead of stepping out on faith and saying “God, you know I’m heartbroken but I learned my lesson. I ask that you dont make me bitter but make me sweet for my real soulmate.”
3. There are no signs ahead
I’m a firm believer in signs and wonders. Nowadays I find it funny that people taking in all the “signs” about the world is coming to an end are the same ones that ignore all the signs that God sends them in their personal lives. I’m guilty. And not ashamed to admit it. But at some point, we’ve got to take responsibility for failing to heed to the signs and warnings. But what happens when there aren’t any signs or signals you ask? We really ain’t trying to step out on faith then are we? I know when I prayed about certain relationships, I stayed planted where I was instead of stepping out on faith. And I’m glad I did because God was probably tired of me ignoring the earlier signs so He stopped sending them. The lack of accountability prevents us from trying to figure out why we haven’t received a sign. Now I question if I’ve messed up my own communication channels. Did I ignore any previous signs? Am I praying enough? Do I need to fast? I’m definitely not big on fasting, but if that’s what it takes, then I’ll do it.
After a while our patience gets thin. I know mine does. I rush food in the microwave. I try to rush God on the regular. I keep forgetting that He sees all and hears all. He got this! It’s kinda like when someone comes to you at your job trying to explain your work method- the same one that you’ve been doing for the past 20 years. I imagine that’s how God feels. This goes back to what I said earlier about doing a little self-evaluating of why you aren’t hearing from Him. And be still knowing that He has your best interest at heart. Learn to walk in that favor. Too many people walk around bragging that they are walking in favor and are the most impatient faithless fools that I’ve ever seen in my life. You steppin out alright! Also keep in mind that God blesses some people with more patience than others. Now the amount of patience that He’s blessed you with is between you and Him. Again, be careful about what you pray for.
5. Not enough faith or faith without works
How do I step out on faith when I don’t have enough? We know all about the faith. The size of the a mustard seed of course. We’ve got to trust and believe that it will take us along way (Hebrews 11:6-10). Noah and Abraham. Just imagine how strange they seemed to the general public. As believers, we also have to disregard what “walking by faith” may look like to others. That’s the level of faith we should have. The Bible also tells us that faith without works is dead. God wants us to be proactive in his walk. Praying for a job, house, husband, car etc without physically going out to find them in God’s favor is just as effective as never cleaning up in a house full of roaches. Jesus reminds us of this in Luke 9:22-25.
And that’s the importance of walking by faith and not by sight
*Reminder that this was one time I had a spiritual moment and actually wrote it down, I’m no pastor