Self Discovery

Many the Milestones


January- Cheers to another chapter

February- 1st time at a live boxing match

March- Turned 27. Got Milo.  Visited New York for the 1st time

April- Got my first car without my grandma as a cosigner

May- Concealed Carry Class (bucketlist)

June- Finished MBA

July- Essence Festival (bucketlist)

August- Launched

September- Went to my first Nigerian Wedding (super lit)

October- Brian McKnight concert (bucketlist)

November- Fully coordinating 1st wedding

December- 1st time out of the country- Dominican Republic


Goal setting is a bit overwhelming for me. I’ve read so much material on how to effectively set goals, in different categories, with different deadlines. Sounds like a bit much right? My notebook looked like scratch paper from a Math EOG test. I realized that this wasn’t realistic for a scatterbrained person such as myself.  At least not always having an answer to the annoying “where do you see yourself in five years” question. Honestly I don’t know. 5 years ago, I had no idea where I’d be at this very moment. See how much sense that makes? I had to learn how to look back at the small milestones. They count too. Nowadays making time for self care such as “me time” and doctors visits go unappreciated. I’m always reminded of them when I think back to when I didn’t have health insurance. See. That’s a milestone. It’s easier to look back to track progress.

Adulting sucks. Some days when my alarm clock goes off, I drag until I know I’ll be at least ten minutes late for work. I cringe whenever rent is due. Heaven forbid if I get sick and have to burn up vacation time. But hey, these are the perks of being “grown” right? Nobody is going to reward you for the things that you are supposed to do. I think that sometimes as adults, we get caught up in the “what you’re supposed to do’s” (paying bills, going to work) that we forget the “what I wanna do’s (take random trips, start businesses).  That’s why it’s important to have a good support system. These are the folks that are in your corner, whether they are seen or unseen. I’m a huge advocate of checking in every now and then without being worrisome. These are the folks that keep you motivated without even trying.  A short and sweet “hey what’s new with you” is always appreciated. Listen. Nobody wants to hear about the stuff you’re supposed to do. We wanna hear about the things you are doing that you’ve put on the backburner. And then there are the accountability partners with whom you share many of the directions that you want to go in. Unfortunately they are just that. Directions. Shit happens. Life can come at you full force within the blink of an eye. Good support systems help keep you on the general path.

Family, peers and colleagues will have you believing that you aren’t working hard enough. If my life was left up to outside forces, I’d actually be in worse shape. If you’re the friend that’s applying these pressures, please stop. Back off. You’re beating a dead horse. We know. We know. WE KNOW. You have all the answers. All of your ducks are in a row. Blah. Blah. Blah. And I mean that in the least defensive way  possible. Everyone’s life course is different. Allow us to appreciate the small milestones. Ya know. The things that you find insignificant. They mean more to us than you’ll ever know. If goal setting actually works for you, cool beans. Don’t hesitate to share how well it works or your technique. Everything just ain’t for everybody.



2 thoughts on “Many the Milestones

  1. I think setting goals is very necessary for growth. Realistic goals within realistic timelines be it short or long term. Having something to direct your effort toward is good motivation and in the end it’s rewarding. I don’t always hit my target, that’s life. But we should be proud of any progress made. My technique is mental notes I guess. I should try writing things down…

    Liked by 1 person

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